Darth Vader Collect Call

PALPATINE: ... So I threw the whole Senate at him! Ha! The whole Senate!

AMBASSADOR 1: Oh, my gosh! That is so funny!

AMBASSADOR 2: Oh, my drink came out my nose!


*Phone rings. Palpatine picks up phone*


PALPATINE: Papa Palpatine!

OPERATOR: You have a Collect Call from...

DARTH VADER'S VOICE: OOO-PAAAH. Darth Vader.

PALPATINE: Ah, hold on I gotta take this...
Vader! How's my favourite Sith Lord?... Woah! Woah, woah! Hold on... What? What do you mean they blew up the Death Star?? Oh,

-Bleep!- -bleep!- -bleeeep!-

... Who's 'They'?? What the heck's an Aluminum Falcon?? Well where are you?? Wait, let me get this straight... you've been flying around for two weeks searching for a signal?? Man. You must smell like feet, wrapped in burnt, leathery bacon! Oh-Oh I'm sorry, I thought my Dark Lord of the Sith could guard an exhaust port that was less than two metres wide!! That thing wasn't even fully paid off yet! D-do you have any idea what this is going to do to my credit?
Now you get your sorry asthmatic can back here, or I'll tell everyone what a whiny wimp you were about, Padamamay, or Panda Bear, or whatever the heck her name is...
Oh, gees he's crying! (snickers)
Hey, hey hey, whoa, I didn't mean any of that. Oh, c-c'mon. I've been dealin' with a lot of crap lately... Death Star being blown up by a bunch of flippin' teenagers. No, c'mon. OK now you get back here... alright? OK? Alright. W-wait, what? Oh-ah-... ... I love you too.

*CLICK*